David Hookstead | Reporter
People of the world, I’m here to announce that I’m well on my way to becoming a physical specimen.
As I’ve chronicled before, I’m not exactly the most physically fit person on the planet. I’m sure many of you find this extremely hard to believe because it’s been noted in the past that I come from a line of superstar athletes. I guess those genetics just passed over me, and I once wrote:
I know that I make what I do look incredibly easy. I’m sure that most of you look at my lifestyle and assume it’s easy to pull off. If only that were the case. I’m out here trying to grind it out.
There’s just a slight hitch in their plan. Turns out getting in shape is a lot harder than NFL players and other pro athletes make it look. I’ve tried to do pushups and failed miserably. Planks nearly put me in the hospital and I’m fatter than ever.
Do I go for the beer or more pushups? This is the burden I now must decide how to deal with. Most men would probably just crumble and cave to pressure. I’m not most men. I’m David Hookstead, and this beach body journey is just getting started.
Well, do I have some great news for all of you. Since March, I went from being able to do two push-ups to doing 80 push-ups, a solid amount of planking and 60 bicycle kicks. Pretty impressive. As a noted co-worker told me, “You’ve lost a decent amount of weight, so, I’d say yeah,” in response to whether or not I’ve undergone a massive physical transformation. Check out the photo below.
Look at every inch of that body of steel. I couldn’t tell if this was a photo of me or a shot of the top ranked NFL prospect. Plus, how incredible is that facial hair? It’s amazing.
How long before I’m taking snaps in the NFL? It can’t be much longer, right? I’m 175 pounds of hardened iron, over six feet tall and have the fire in my belly of a thousand dragons. If there will ever be an NFL shot, it’s going to be now.
I’m just a gritty white guy who would be amazing for the locker room and change of pace dual-threat quarterback. One team will take a chance and 31 teams will regret the fact they passed on me forever. Just wait until you see the footage of me slinging it around the practice field. It’s borderline erotic.
Feel free to give your best guess of my NFL debut date in the comments.
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