Mary Schmich: Memo from John McCain in heaven

TO: The American PeopleFROM: John McCainDATE: Nov. 5, 2020SUBJECT: My hope for your wondrous landMy fellow Americans. WTF?What is going on down there?Yes, we have cable up here in heaven and, sheesh, that election. It looks like hell.I keep hearing that the situation in Arizona — my old pal Joe Biden giving old Bone Spurs a run for his money — is “John McCain’s revenge” and that’s why I’m contacting you today. I have some thoughts on that.First, a little background. I’m currently living in the Arizona Desert Wing of the heaven compound, where it’s always like Phoenix in February. Sunny but not…

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