CNN Has A Message For All People Who Drink Alcohol — You Probably Won’t Like It

CNN Has A Message For All People Who Drink Alcohol — You Probably Won’t Like It

CNN is telling people to stop drinking all alcohol, no matter how much.

“If you’re one of the third of all humankind who drinks alcohol, take note: There’s no amount of liquor, wine or beer that is safe for your overall health, according to a new analysis of 2016 global alcohol consumption and disease risk,” CNN writes.

The report goes on to claim that alcohol was the was the leading cause of disease and death in men and women aged 15 and 49 worldwide in 2016,  affecting nearly 10 percent of the population.

That results to nearly 2.8 million deaths across the world just that year.

One little detail CNN managed to wedge at the bottom of the study: the three countries hit the hardest by alcohol-related fatalities are China, Russia, and India. The US was wayyyy down that list, coming in at fifth out of ten for men and seventh for women.

I’d just like to say that it’s Friday, and in honor of the weekend, I simply refuse to have such negativity in my life. I can’t have these reports on alcohol raining on my parade.

Besides, since it’s not exactly a secret that I enjoy a good glass of Cab or the not-so-occasional cranberry vodka, I may as well go full-throttle. Now that I know 1 glass of red wine is basically doing the same amount of damage as 13 shots of screwdrivers then I may as well go off the deep end.

Thanks, CNN for giving me permission to live it up this weekend. As the great George Straight once said, we’re not here for a long time. We’re here for a good time.

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