Would it be smart for me to blow through every penny I have to see the Washington Capitals play the Vegas Knights in Sin City?
This is the question I’ve been asking myself ever since the final buzzer rang out Wednesday night in game seven. It’s the question I thought about this morning, and it’s the question that I haven’t stopped thinking about.
Let’s get through the basics of the situation. The first one is that Vegas has the first two home games. One is on the 28th and the other is on the 30th. The 28th is completely ruled out because I’ll be coming back from the Hamptons and the 30th is also not an option. That leaves the next available game as game five on June 7th. This is the date we’d have to crush it. Of course, this game never happens if there’s a sweep, but that’s highly unlikely. (SLIDESHOW: Hockey Rinks Might Be Cold, But These Women Are Scorching Hot)
Second, let’s get to the money. I have a solid $50 to my name right now that I’m willing to spend. Some of you might say that’s not a lot of money, but it’s enough to buy a couple cases of beer, which is all I’ve ever asked for in life. However, with my good looks, shockingly good credit score (I learned about this for the first time in my life yesterday) and connections to a couple farmers throughout this country, I think I can wrangle it up. I also keep a small stash of cash hidden away for emergencies, such as a zombie apocalypse that I’d need to buy lots of guns for. I pretend that this cash doesn’t exists. It’s there, but never touched. However, It would also be enough to cover a trip to Vegas, game tickets and the flight. (RELATED: The Washington Capitals Are Going To The Stanley Cup Final. It’s About To Get Lit)
The question is whether or not I want to tap that keg and get that money. Do I want to go to Vegas? Yes. Do I want the experience? Yes. Do I think it would be fun as hell? Also, a resounding yes. Do I have to convince the whole crew to go? Naturally.
I’ve already convinced myself by typing out the last few sentences. Honestly, I’m not sure Vegas is ready for a group of D.C. hounds to hit up Vegas. Sure, the city might be built to party, but I’m built to destroy through partying.
Imagine me and my guys out on the town at six in the morning after a big Caps win. The greeter at the hotel is gonna ask if we need a couple extra blankets and pillows. I’ll be telling them to get me a private dealer, six cases of beer and enough food to choke an elephant. This Vegas party isn’t stopping until somebody is hospitalized or has been kidnapped. That’s just what the fringe class lifestyle is all about.
I’ll outdrink any of you, find more women than any of you, cheer for my team harder than any of you and just be a general badass more than you. Deal with it.
Vegas, you better prepare yourself because it’s about to get real.
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